On this blog I give way to an article that I received from Mike Harland from Lifeway Worship that is painful in many ways. Having been an athlete, married an athlete, raised athletes, and now have grandsons who will most likely play in the days ahead if the Lord tarries. I am a ball loving pastor. Buckle your seat belt if you have children involved in sports. This article will offend you at some point, it did me, but may it draw us closer to the Lord.
Pastoring a church where we see Youth ministry struggling to getting our own church kids to come. Seeing a Sunday School class that was once full with only a few kids. Could this be us?
March 3, 2014 An Open Letter to Sports Parents That Are Christian
NEWS FLASH! Your son is not going to
play Major League baseball. And, your daughter is not going to be on
the Olympic team in volleyball or soccer either.
So, why in the world, and for what possible eternal reason are you
sacrificing a vital aspect of their spiritual development in the
formative years of their lives in the hopes they will become a sports
superstar? What is the best result that can come from that choice? And
what is the worst?
Now, come back from the ledge and let’s talk about this.
If you know me, you know I played a lot of ball in my day and went to
college on a baseball scholarship. I have coached baseball for many
years since my playing days, and love the positives that playing a sport
can bring to a young person. But this thing has taken on a whole new
form that I believe is harmful to many of our kids. I’ve seen it over
and over in the places I’ve served.
Our churches are full of people like you or someone you know, who
have children that are playing sports year round. And in the off season
of their local league sports, they play on travel teams – some around
the country – to play their sports. Many of these are families of faith,
like yours, who are making this decision in full conviction that the
passing on of their spiritual legacy is not affected at all by this
choice. After all, you read the Bible and pray together in the hotels –
sometimes you even go to a chapel service at the tournament location or a
local church, if the tournament bracket schedule allows. Sure, your
kids never do the church camps or go on a student ministry mission trip,
and they miss most Sundays during the travel season, but isn’t there
more to Christianity than that?
And, you argue, some sons and daughters do play pro sports and find Olympic glory. Why couldn’t it be yours?
My fear for you is this – your kids will gain far less from this
experience than you could have ever imagined, and it will cost them far
more in their spiritual and personal development than you could have
ever feared. Many aspects of Christian maturity are only learned in
community with other believers. They are not going to get everything
from you – they have to have other people speaking into their spiritual
development. And there are no “do-overs” in parenting. You get one shot.
The truth is, if they are gifted and passionate about spending their
energy to develop a skill in a sport, they will do that with or without a
total focus on it when they are 13 years old. And if they don’t give
their lives over to being great in one sport, they might find other
interests they can develop as well…that can be part of their lives long
after their athletic careers are over.
In sports it’s called “cross-training.” It’s when an athlete trains
by doing activities outside of the particular sport they compete in. And
I believe that as young people develop, they need “life training” –
lots of varied experiences and interests that help them explore where
their passions are and how they might spend their lives as adults.
But all too often, parents choose a sport for their child when they 8
or 9 years old and seemingly sacrifice everything else for that child
to succeed in that sport. What happens when it’s over?
When my daughter was in high school, we traveled a little ways down
this road. Her volleyball coach in high school gave special attention to
the girls that played travel ball in the off-season. So, like many
families, we made the choice after her sophomore year to join a travel
league in the off-season in hopes it would bolster her high school
career.
It’s a crazy life these travel ball families live. The low point for
me was when she was playing in a tournament in Atlanta – all of our
family was there – and we were watching game after game – on Easter
Sunday – I knew that day we had fallen victim to the religion of travel
ball.
I have a high school friend who is a sad case study in this subject.
He was a wonderful athlete in high school and even competed on the
college level. But being great at his sport was all his life was about.
Now in his early 50s, he sits and reminisces about his athletic
accomplishments of long ago. His life has been marked by a failed
marriage and a strained relationship with his kids. But he has never
found real purpose beyond his college playing days. So sad, indeed.
Here’s another news flash – if your son or daughter has unique
athletic gifts and are passionate about playing a sport, they will
become great at it without travel ball. And perhaps, being involved in
the student activities of church or in some family mission journey could
help them become passionate about something that will matter beyond
their 18th birthday.
So, how about this – what if – instead of spending the energies of
your family to build a “super-kid” in some sport or skill, why not let
them have a normal experience of playing different sports and spend
those extra resources of money and time investing in their spiritual and
personal development? Why not pour your family effort into service and
missions at your church and beyond?
It’s time for parents that are serious about discipling their kids to
stand up to the travel coaches that dominate the growing up years of
their children. It’s time to realize that kids don’t have to be great at
something – all they have to do is be.
God has already made them great.
Mike Harland
Director, LifeWay Worship